Reply to S/O being excluded from birthday parties

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dad/Poster #3 here.

Some of you are seriously unhinged and to the point of protesting far too much.

I was done with the this thread yesterday and thought it was buried and done. Shocked to see it revived again on Recent Topics.

So, in sum:

1) It was awkward, but I will not in any way, shape or form concede that I handled it badly. Those of you who are so hysterical about it would likely have done the same thing and you know it.

2) Some of you have serious issues, calling my daughter a "bitch" and "snotty" and "queen bee." This wasn't just at the beginning of the thread -- nearly every page contains an insult aimed at my 7 yo girl. Shame on you. I mean that: For shame. You don't have any standing to criticize me after you do that.

3) Thanks to those who've offered support. While I suspect it may be the same two or three people taking endless potshots, it's gratifying to discover that there are some reasonable people who at least took an opportunity to consider my viewpoint and that situation.

4) And for that matter, thanks also to the people who disagreed with how I handled it in a respectful manner. The loons could learn a few things from you.

I'm out.[/quote]

Dad/P3,

I think that you are well meaning and I can understand that you do not want to see your daughter called names.

However, I think you are naive when it comes to the culture of meanness and exclusion among girls your daughter's age.   I know it seems rational to you for her not to want a girl with "potty mouth" at her party.  But little girls her age often arbitrarily decide for some reason that another little girl has unacceptable social behavior, fixing on some surface characteristic (like potty mouth) and exclude and torment that other little girl.  It's up to us as parents to intervene.  Why?  Because next week, those same little girls may decide, for very little reason, that your daughter is socially unacceptable for some reason.  And it may be one of the most painful experiences of her life.  This is the way girls bully.  I don't know if this makes any sense to you at all, but little girls don't physically bully.  They emotionally bully.  Please don't encourage it.  Please do your best to derail it.  
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