Reply to I was so naive re marriage, career and kids

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I like the nanny idea. Is this possible for you? Also, do you have other household help (cleaners etc) and how often?

The truth is : your husband is already doing more than most (and I did not say ALL) husbands/fathers do. A woman/mom might get suckered into the role you are describing (work FT, do all weekday childcare alone after daycare, then do house chores until 9/10pm) but no man is going to do that LOL. Your DH is not going to do that role, so forget it. Your choices here are really (1) hire more help, as people have described (2) cut back your work hours even if it includes a corresponding pay decrease (3) suck it up and run yourself ragged doing it all OR (4) accept total chaos, things not getting done etc and know it isn’t forever. I know a few families with a SAHD (or ones where dad works PT flex and is point person for kids/house)....those lucky moms are few and far between. The rest of us have options 1-4 as described above, and figure out the deal when the first kid comes along. You are not the first- and won’t be last- to be frustrated by this but It is the way it goes. Sorry.

It may not feel fair to you, (and probably is not). but  Expecting your DH to do any more than he is, is a total losing battle and will just wreck your marriage.[/quote]

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