Reply to Would you date a bisexual man?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why is it the expectation that the bisexual person not act upon their bisexuality? Why are we conditioned to place such importance on monogamy, which ithough sometimes beneficial, is not natural?[/quote]

It's only an expectation for someone who wishes to be monogamous. I don't care if other people are monogamous, only if my partner is monogamous with me.

"Natural" is an irrelevant term, and a dangerous one when talking about sexuality (plenty of people have argued that non-procreative sex is unnatural, people use this term to enforce their biases).

But you've also outlined exactly why many straight or homosexual people choose not to date bisexual or pansexual people, and why it's nothing to do with biphobia. If your goal is a longterm monogamous relationship, dating a bisexual person seems like you are putting an automatic limit on the relationship because presumably at some point that person will wish to act on their bisexual desires for a gender that you are not. Or you are banking on them being satisfied with expressing their bisexuality only other ways (pornography, fantasy, role play), which may not be a reasonable expectation. It just doesn't make sense for me, as a person interested in monogamy, to set myself up for what seems like an obvious outcome of a relationship with someone who has a strong sexual interest that I will never be able to fulfill.[/quote]

NP. I agree with you, PP, but as has already happened just above, the "it's biphobic not to date bisexual people" poster is insisting you are phobic, wrong and, well, a bad person. I guess I'm a bad person along with you. You're trying to make a calm explanation of your thinking but the "you're biphobic" poster isn't up for listening, only for reflexively insisting anyone who does not agree with them is terrible. I as a straight woman don't want to have sex with a man who is sexually attracted to/has had sex with men; it would be an actual sexual turn-off for me, and I call that a sexual preference of mine. But the "it's biphobic not to date bi people" poster would insist it's phobic and...I should want to date bi men or I'm a problem--? So some people are allowed preferences and others...aren't, and if they dare express that something is a sexual turn-off to them, they are branded as phobic. Labels have gone nuts. [/quote]

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