Reply to Told brother to keep his girlfriend aka mistress at home for the holidays.

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Told brother to keep his girlfriend aka mistress at home for the holidays."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's interesting that OP has not yet indicated whether they are willing to lose their relationship with their brother...[/quote]

OP here.  I don't want to lose my relationship with my brother even if I have no respect for him.  If he stops talking to me that will be his decision.  My relationship with his children is my priority though.  I've been thinking about this since I posted and it keeps being mentioned that I moved the goal post.  I thought about telling him we are just not ready and to give us more time as was suggested.  The more I think about it until his children accept his mistress I don't think she will ever be welcomed into the family.  His children have sworn to never meet her and don't even acknowledge her.  So this could be forever.  To keep the peace I can tell him to give us more time but I don't think that is the answer since I came to this realization.    [/quote]

But, it's clearly causing you and the kids so much agony to be so mad at them both. You could also set an example for your nieces and nephews by engaging with them both in a respectful manner, which could very well positively influence them. Forgiveness is hard, but it is the work of our very short lifetimes. Have you considered your brother is happier now? We never know what goes on in a relationship, and while you may condone the cheating, people make all kinds of mistakes all the time.

If you want my credentials, DH and his sibs never turned on their dad and the woman he left their mom for (though they were younger, in elementary school). While they made a very bad decision, I also know my MIL was very unhappy in the marriage pre-affair and has her own issues. DH's dad and his "mistress" went to have a much longer marriage - by several decades. He died more than 15 years ago and she still sends our kids money for every single holiday. Sometimes I think it's guilt money because it's always been a lot, but everyone has tried to make the best of the situation. My own parents divorced when we were young, and it didn't involve infidelity, but it was clear they were much better apart.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics