Reply to Friends being cagey about plans. How would you react?

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[quote=Anonymous]There was nothing passive aggressive about the text at all. It was very forward, actually. You might think too forward, if you are the sort of person who prefers to let stuff like this stay under the surface. Not even saying you're wrong, but it's weird to argue that the problem with it is that it's "passive aggressive". Passive aggressive would be if OP did as one PP suggested and had a party but invited everyone in the group except the birthday woman. Or if she started just subtly snubbing the birthday woman when they were altogether. That would be much more obnoxious, if you ask me.

Look, the second OP found out about the party and felt bad, this became an issue. You can say "oh well you should not have felt bad", but that's not how feelings work. You can say "you should get over it" but that's also not how feelings work, at least not right away. You can argue that OP should leave it alone, and that's valid, but it's ultimately up to OP to decide how she wants to handle, and she did. There's nothing immature about any of this. There are a wide range of respectable ways to handle awkward social situations. OP has been polite and thoughtful. You can't really ask much more of people. Lots and lots of adults don't even meet that standard.

What I think is immature is the expectation that everyone sees this situation the way you do, and that people will make choices based on what you want or think is right.[/quote]

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