Reply to Friends who cannot seem to get away

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Reply to "Friends who cannot seem to get away - what gives?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Yikes. This seems really out of touch with the idea that everyone lives their lives the way they choose to do so, and I totally agree with those who are saying that perhaps if one friend exclusively likes to do dinners/drinks on weeknights and another likes to do something else, maybe you should compromise. To those moms with kids who have the energy to go out in the evenings to restaurants/bars, and a husband who is able to evenly split the child care - bravo! You are apparently winning at life.

I have a 7 month old, my husband has a job with long hours and he's also currently in part-time law school at night. Every weekday he leaves for work at 8am, does daycare drop off, and then gets home from class at 9:30pm at night. On weekends he does homework the majority of the day and we make sure to try and do *some* family activity, of some sort. I am an extrovert, and also have a demanding corporate job, but it's really important for me to get out of the house while my husband is working on weekends, so I make plans to go to parks with friends, go to brunch with friends, and take walks in diff parks in the area with friends. I also hope to go to some wineries this fall since I feel like you can probably put babies on a blanket outside and let them crawl around a little. But if someone is making a plan with me, due to my husband's schedule right now, they are also making a plan with my son (who I will say is really well behaved and sleeps well - thank goodness, it would be much worse if this wasn't the case). If I'm meeting up with a non-mom friend, we usually walk since I can wear the baby, I can sometimes do brunch if I can contain him in the stroller, or I check to make sure they're okay if he's around while we do another plan. If I'm meeting up with mom-friends, they just get it, and bring their kids and they all play together.

I LOVE going to dinner and drinks, and honestly I miss it!, it's just not a reality for me right now. Taking care of my son is my priority as is supporting my husband in his career. I do something social every weekend day (even if it's just a 1-2 hour walk in my neighborhood), and try and rotate different friends so I make sure I'm staying in touch with those I want to continue to stay in touch with. Sometimes I also schedule phone dates with friends at the end of the workday, like 4:30pm if I can swing it before daycare pick-up. Sometimes I take Friday afternoons easy and go to long lunches with friends and have a drink or two. It's really hard to try and squeeze in "friend" and "me" time, and it doesn't look the way it used to, but I'm doing the best I can, and if someone was hell-bent on meeting for dinner at night, I'd be pretty annoyed, but honestly wouldn't want to be friends with someone who wasn't able to respect my situation right now.[/quote]

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