Reply to no 2nd child because DH won’t support SAH?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Am I the only one who thinks OP’s husband sounds like an a-hole?

I am an (Asian) woman who chooses to work even though we could live happily on my DH’s income. I enjoy having a job, and it’s a pretty flexible job so I feel like I have enough time with my kids. My husband supports me working, but he would equally support me SAH (I know because he’s asked me a few times if I would want to - obviously my life would be easier if I did!) I think it’s terrible for a spouse to make the other spouse work if they are financially set for college and retirement!

Of course, I’m sure my DH would respect me less if I became a stereotypical brain-dead SAHM, but if I continued to take an interest in the world, community, etc. I don’t think our relationship would suffer.[/quote]

Nope. If my husband would come home and informed me that he'd like to quit his job and, surprise, I need to 100% support our family I'd kill him. And we have serious $ coming in from both sets of parents and I already have a fully paid, nice house on my name and we can live on my salary alone.[/quote]
[b]I (female) would personally be happy,[/b] assuming I was making enough for us to be comfortable. Who wouldn't want an easier life? Who wouldn't want to never do laundry or cook dinner since you're working anyway? Who wouldn't want to be able to stay out for work dinners or travel without any guilt? Who wouldn't want to know the person who loves your child most is always on call for them? It's a sweet set-up for both parents.[/quote]

You (female) may personally feel this way, but I guarantee you that 99% of SAMs on this board do not.  That’s what is so grating:  the 100% inability to treat a DH the way they want to be treated by their DH, i.e., complete violation of the golden rule.  Everyone knows that having two little kids is hard for a while; it’s the next 20-30 easy SAHM years that are resented.  Duh![/quote]

You are completely talking out of your ass with this.  I can “guarantee” (at least inasmuch as you apparently can) that the vast majority of Dads don’t WANT to stay home, not to take care of the kids full time, not to take care of the house full time.  Working is not a sacrifice to them compared to the homefront, they PREFER it!  And some of us married real men, (not whiny, petulant, score-keeping man-babies) the kind who take pride in providing for their family and wouldn’t dream of demanding that the mother of their children work for money they don’t need when she would prefer to mother their children!  Some of you sound like you have married complete losers and justify their loser behavior by pretending it’s about equality.[/quote]

It’s surpassingly hypocritical, arrogant, and entitled to expect your DH to accept a situation you would never in a million years accept if the shoe were on the other foot.[/quote]

Weird response.

1) I would accept it - in fact when I was the higher earner I suggested he stay home with the kids but he did.not.want.to
2) He LIKES me staying home.  I like me staying home.  The kids like me staying home.  Our life is pretty GD stress-free and awesome.  If I get extra leisure time during the week now that the kids are in school he doesn’t resent me, he is HAPPY for me!  This is what I think some of you don’t get!  We are a team, we love each other, we TRY to make each others’ lives easier/better!  If he was unhappy at work his first instinct wouldn’t be to try to drag me down, too!  But he also knows I would happily make any changes to our lifestyle necessary to make him happy if things should change, including going back to work if needed!  Some of your marriages sound so petty and score-keeping oriented I feel sorry for you.[/quote]
[b]
1) Talk is cheap…doubly cheap when you knew already how he felt about the situation.  So what if you would accept it; the vast majority of SAHMs I know would resent it, with older kids and their DH having gobs of leisure time to fill with his GTL routine, or whatever he chose.[/b]
[/quote]

Not the pp, but you sound really resentful, bitter and jaded.

It's not a shock that the vast majority of SAHM's YOU know would resent their husband being a SAHD, because misery loves company.

Why would you hang out with happy women in healthy marriages, when clearly you're the farthest thing from happy?
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