Reply to Wife wants to be "alone" so this means we divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, she said something to me last night that's tough to swallow or interpret. Basically, she tired of being my wife. Not personally, although it's hard to not take it personally. More about being in my shadow. I am in a somewhat high profile field that gets some media attention, the usual accolades if a project goes well, etc. We met in grad school so she feels its unfair and knows it not fair and she should feel happy and she is proud, etc. but it's swallowed her identity.

Also, she's tired of being in "polite society" and making small talk with my clients, etc. Holding her tongue when we entertain people whose political views she finds repugnant.

Anyway, thanks for all the feedback.[/quote]

Oh....ok. So I will share this: I have Ph.D/female. I was home for a couple of years with our first child. My husband traveled extensively for his work.This was the scenario for only about 2 years, it sounds like more years for your wife, but for us it was me home, him traveling and at peak career... but it killed me, inside, I have to say. It was very hard. I was so envious. I am competitive by nature, your wife probably is too and like you, my husband is "out there" (social, confident, etc). Meanwhile, I was home with a baby I adored but understimulated, and sad about what seemed like my dead career. (It was not dead but it felt like it was). We had an active social life, I was not isolated...but it was not a substitute for my career. I also I didn't even really realize that was the depth of the conflict...mostly I just felt worn down and sad by the end. What helped? My going back to work. Your wife has some stuff to work out. She's not alone...but it's painful. All I can say is therapy can help. Good luck...she's struggling with feeling overshadowed and it's painful. If you can muster some love and empathy, now is the time to offer it.[/quote]

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