Reply to Everything was great for 6 months and then family finds out and boom: he ends it. Advice?

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Reply to "Everything was great for 6 months and then family finds out and boom: he ends it. Advice?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Update: As I mentioned, he and I were talking again late Feb to mid March. He said he wanted to see me and cancelled at the last minute and he said he was probably trying the “arranged marriage thing” because he “would not forgive himself if he did not at this age” but that he was not having a kid right away and “if this does not work, they can never pressure me again.” (The last time I saw him in person was late Jan. a month after the breakup…the entire month of January he was texting me he missed me, was confused and did not want to meet others…but his family was really pressuring him to just hurry up and get married.

He texted asked me a question in late March, I responded, but he never replied. He ignored a text a few weeks later.

I just found a post from his friend on Facebook that he had an arranged marriage last week. It was not on his page, but his friend’s. I am shocked it was so fast. I literally last saw him a little over 4 months ago. I do not know how he could actually be happy but who knows. I wonder if arranged marriages can last and be happy if they are rebounds or primarily done due to family pressure. I felt his feeling were real and he just made the decision to do it their way when he said they would never accept me. But part of me feels lied to (and I asked up front). I do wonder if he will be happy and if this kind of marriage will really work (not that I will ever find out).

So, that is a more recent (and final) update. I am very surprised at the speed. [/quote]

But, why do you care?  You wanted different things, clearly.  You need to move on, this can’t be healthy for you or your children.

If you are familiar with his culture then you know that’s not fast for an arranged marriage.  I’m so curious why after so many months you are still clearly pining for him when you claim you didn’t want anything serious?  [/quote]

I know it can happen fast. I am surprised he agreed to it fast. He said he did not want to meet anyone else in January and he was not happy he felt he had to break up with me. I expected him to be married later this year…I did not expect it 5 months from the break up and just 4 months after the last time I saw him and only 2.5 months after our last phone and video calls (we had been talking again for 2.5 weeks and still telling me how much he misses me but felt he had to try an arranged marriage). Saying that to me 2.5 months ago to being married seems fast. It does not seem particularly healthy from an emotional standpoint. [/quote][/quote]

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