Reply to Does SAHM make a difference during infant years?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To me the funniest argument / cop out is "I'm a better mom if I work because I feel fulfilled and my kid benefits from my feelings of fulfillment."  Or "I want to set an example for my kids that I work."

Yea, right.  On both fronts.[/quote]

My mom was an excellent SAHM and did an amazing job raising us. I work — at home for the first year of my kids’ life, outside later. I saw my mom’s struggles with identity and feeling a lack of accomplishment once we were in school, and I didn’t want that. She also was not confident she could deal with the working world and was always quite negative about dealing with office politics or other expectations while at the same time idealizing getting recognition of her work. I think my work experience has taught me a lot that I can pass on to my kids about how to navigate the world. Whether it’s negotiation or not giving up on a difficult, challenging project, the structure of professional life pushes me and brings out different skills. I think that has some value for a child to see their mom being confident in different situations.[/quote]

This isn’t the OP, since it sounds like she is working now and planning to go back in a few years, but I have seen something similar to this with friends who have NEVER worked outside the home.  They seem to have a very skewed view of what the working world actually entails and do a disservice to their children.  Frankly, they really seem to give working people a lot more credit for their work than what is actually due.  Maybe that comes from decades of never being able to call your husband on his BS.

I do think that everyone raising children should spend some time in the workforce.  It’s important to be able to relate that knowledge to your kids.  [/quote]

How many women have never worked outside the home though, in this day and age outside of certain communities? My moms family is LDS and I represent the first generation of my family in that side to work with kids or even to have a pre-kids career but that is hugely unusual among my peers outside of LDS and some other highly religious people, [/quote]

I don’t know.  But it’s a surprisingly high number at my kids’ gym :).   Some are highly religious, some not, but none are from the same church, and none are LDS.  
Quite a few have older teens, and they are so anxious about paid employment.  Their husbands have also more or less outsourced all parenting to their wives, so, even though dad is a doctor or a lawyer, these kids have very little guidance on why math is important, how to apply for a job, or how to choose a college.  It’s bizarre.  
(Pre-pandemic, I saw them twice a week for an hour with nothing to do but watch our kids and talk, so we know more about each other than you would typically know about strangers).  [/quote]

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