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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have four kids.  
I do bedtime reading with all of them together.  We roll out sleeping bags on the floor, and I sit in the poang chair in my oldest son’s room.  After that, the younger two go to bed, and DH and I talk for a while with the older two, sometimes all together.  Sometimes 1:1.

I usually make dinner and help with homework simultaneously.  Kids don’t need you hovering over them while they do their homework, but they need you to be available if they have questions.

They do have to be more independent than some of their peers.  We taught them to ride bikes early and showed them how to get places they want to go.  They have to be responsible for a lot of their own things.  They have to help out around the house.  [/quote]

Hence my point that you cannot spend quality time one-to-one. Research from different countries points to the fact that they will be less successful, due to less individual attention and resources, than their peers from smaller families. I absolutely agree with you that they have to be more independent, regardless of their personalities. It's a survival skill; even my second child is more independent than my first. [/quote]

Sure you can spend quality time one on one. It comes down to priorities.

Additionally: too much one on one time isn’t necessarily a good thing. Ask any singleton.

I’m a working mom of 4. DH and I spend waaaay more quality time with our kids than most of the families with only 2 kids we know. We’re hanging out as a family while they’re galavanting around town for girls night out, golfing all flipping day with the guys, multiple date nights each week, etc. These smaller families aren’t necessarily closer either. Many stopped at two because they didn’t want the added cost or inconvenience. Interestingly, all of these families have nannies and housekeepers and lawn services.

I know more than one family with just two perfectly catered to kids who needed to quickly teach them how to cook and do their own laundry before sending them off to college. That doesn’t happen in a family of 4. Having life skills isn’t the same thing as developing survival skills due to neglect. 
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