Reply to Disgusted by Wife’s Obesity But Don’t Want a Divorce

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[quote=Anonymous]Married woman in her 40s with two kids here.

You are correct to be disappointed. Best way, really, is to lead by example, even if you don’t particularly need to lose weight.

Take an extra interest in eating healthy for the whole family. Look into healthier meals and cook them. Look into healthier snacks and swap those for the carbs that are the typical snacks. More fruit, veggies, and cheese, less granola bars and cookies.

As for exercise, don’t you dare specifically ask her to exercise. It will backfire. Instead, take an interest in family hikes, bike rides, or just long neighborhood walks. I personally took up Geocaching and it’s now a family activity that forces us to go on long walks/hikes.

Yourself, take up some sort of exercise routine. Include the kids and invite her.

The easiest is to do morning walks. Start getting up early (before kids wake) and do a morning walk for 30 minutes, increase to an hour, share how it really helps you clear your mind and gives more energy. Then offer to handle the kids in the morning for her to do the same -don’t expect her to get up early yet. Once she does it, offer to take turns each morning.

Lastly, beverages. This may be the hardest habit to drop. Essentially, drop all beverages aside from plain old water. Naturally, work up to it. There are sooo many calories in beverages and if you compare how far you have to walk/run to burn them off, it’s astounding. Start the habit yourself. Casually mention it. Ask her to support you by not tempting you with sweetened beverages so ask to stop buying them.

Main approach, start with yourself. Focus on health. You do love her. It is apparent. Still tell her that. Share that she is beautiful. Boost her confidence and she will naturally return to wanting to look good for you and for herself.

Good luck![/quote]

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