Reply to Do you think we will see a massive uptick in women choosing to stay home after this?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honest Q, if you are a working mom, do you feel superior to SAHM moms? It's just something I have always wondered.[/quote]

Since this is anonymous, yes I do. I would never tell you to your face though.[/quote]

NP, and no, I don't.  In this specific, current situation, I think I have it much harder than they do, but that doesn't make me superior to them.  Grumpier, perhaps.  On balance, I think there are enough trade-offs either way to make them relatively equally difficult.  I guess if you're independently wealth SAH is an easier option, but that's not many people.[/quote]

Do you think it might be much harder because you aren't as used to be around you kids for that many hours a day? Aside from the actual working part? It can be a little shocking if you aren't used to being around children for 12+ hours a day weeks on end. [/quote]

NP. This is incredibly condescending. I work full-time, as does my husband, but it’s not the being around my kids all day that’s hard, it’s having them around plus having to work at the same time. I mean, we both take liberal leave during the year and spend time together as a family all day. And also weekends. And many school holidays we’ll take off. Also, we’re fortunate enough that our kids are in school or at an activity right after school pretty much the whole time we’re working, so it’s not like we don’t see our kids during the week. Your attitude is a reason why people hate SAHMs.  [/quote]

It’s not meant to be condescending. I have noticed too many WOH saying “This is so much harder for me! If I didn’t work this would be so easy. You don’t understand the demands of a career” I’m talking about moms with young children. (5 and under with hardly any independent that cannot be left unsupervised). It’s hard for everyone right now. It is also exhausting being around small children for that long for weeks on end whether you choose it or not and for many it might be the first time outside of maternity leave they have experienced this long of a stretch. I know exactly how stressful a career can be too, I did that for 13 years after grad school and worked since I was 15 and I will in a few years at all when my son is in kindergarten. It doesn’t have to be a competition over who has it harder and who is superior. If you’re a decent mom you made a conscious decision over what made the most sense for your specific family. [/quote]

I'm the PP you were responding to earlier, not this one.

Here's the thing: if you have not balanced a career with kids, i.e., worked while you had kids, you have no idea what the specific challenges are.  Working before you have kids is not even remotely the same as working once you have them.  I'm not even talking about right now in COVID-19 time, I'm talking generally.

As for COVID-19 time, your argument that it's not harder for mothers who have to work *on top of* all the the other things SAHM are doing is ludicrous.  That you can't appreciate that you do, in fact, have it easier right now, is what pisses me and many other working moms off.  We're not talking about the demands of a career, we're talking about the demands of working full-time WHILE we ALSO have to parent kids at home.  If you can't get that, that's on you, not us.

(I don't have anything against SAHM, either.  Many of my neighbors do, and I know it's not easy for them right now.  But to a one, they have acknowledged that they are grateful they are home and not also having to work right now.  That earns my everlasting gratitude because they Get It.)[/quote]

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