Reply to Trying to handle baby + big law and failing miserably. Talk me down.

Forum Index » Jobs and Careers

Reply to "Trying to handle baby + big law and failing miserably. Talk me down."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Just left biglaw (for now).  Two kids (4 and 6).  PPs who have said that to survive in biglaw with baby you must have someone else as default parent/caregiver are 100% correct.  For me, that was DH, who conveniently became unemployed shortly after our first was born.  That let me focus on work, travel for work, take big cases to trial, etc.  I spent time with my kids daily (except when traveling), but did not have to think about the running of a household or managing kids' school, schedules, etc.

I don't think my kids, especially when they were babies, were harmed by DH being the default parent and my working like a dog.  But, over time, the situation just stopped being fun/fulfilling/tolerable/enjoyable/gratifying/tenable.  DH was not happy with the full domestic load.  Kids got bigger and cared more that I was gone.  With all of my time spent working, sleeping, or stealing moments with my kids, it stopped feeling worth it.  It felt like my life was passing me by.

Luckily, I had been at it a while and had already retired my debt.  Luckily, my DH was able to return to work.  Luckily, after many years of intermittent searching, I got offered a tremendously interesting job with a manageable pay cut.  I am less than a month into the new gig, but so far it seems to be a vast improvement.

So, OP.  Hang in there.  You are not alone and you are not crazy.  Your goal is to pay down your debt and escape.  You have a plan to do that within a year.  During that year, let your DH take on more (especially pick ups).  Give up the (unrealistic) notion that you can do bedtime every night.  Do the bare minimum to avoid getting fired and maintain a decent reputation.  Do one networking lunch a week.  Spend 20 minutes a day job searching.  Talk to a recruiter.  There is light at the end of your tunnel, but you need to stay laser focused on that light and survive long enough to get there.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics