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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is not adding up. OP admitted that it was when she didn't ask about her sil at all that her sil had it with her. While her baby was in a hospital. I wonder how many times, did this op make her sil feel like she is a tag along. It is telling that OP is upset about never seeing her brother alone, but that sil always used to come along. SIL probably found out that op complained about wanting her brother alone. Most of us that are mature and married usually come as a package, we don't insist on going alone somewhere all the time. I go out with my sister and her dh out all the time, seems odd to exclude him. Sometimes he doesn't feel like going, but he is always invited. Yet, op showed her objection to this here, I find that immature and possessive.[/quote]

-1 Mature married people are perfectly capable of spending time with their siblings without their spouses tagging along and don't need permission to do so.[/quote]
And look at her reply above? She asked about SIL through brother, as if SIL is invisible? SIL got the message. Plus, how many times did she see and talk to her brother? Sounds like more than three. Her niece was in a hospital and op couldn't bother to send a text to her SIL? But, now she is texting her. Sounds to me like SIL had enough of being ignored, having demands of sil to enjoy her brother alone... and said, enough is enough. Good for her.[/quote]

This is NOT what happened!!!!  I was writing to both on our family chat until my brother wrote separately to my parents and I to stop contacting SIL because she was stressed out and did not want to make their situation a big deal (his words) so obviously we stop writing to SIL and to the family chat. At this point we are all scared of her reactions so we absoloutely consider her ALL THE TIME. 
SIL was (maybe still is) upset that I did not go against my brother’s recommendation and did not write her directly. Also, this was in April. First she did not believe my brother had said that, then even after I showed her his message, she was was still upset and said I should have written to her, but not called her... anyway... this is crazy and if you understood the situation and don’t think this issues are crazy, you are insane too[/quote]

So you didn't write this:
[b]OP here. I asked about her multiple times in the 3 days they were at the hospital and once home, but to my brother and not to her directly. That was her issue with me. I think it’s crazy and that is why people are not understanding it correctly.
Basically SIL would have liked all conversations to go through her.[/b][/quote]

I am going to explain this one more time and then I won’t anymore. 
In April their daughter got sick. She was 2 months old and the pediatrician suggested they take her to the hospital because she was so young. Up until the hospital stay, both my brother and SIL were in our family chat and we were exchanging messages there. Then my brother wrote to both my parents an I to stop writing on the chat at to SIL directly because she was stressed out and did not want to make their situation a big deal (maybe my parents had called or we had texted on the chat... frankly I can’t remember). From that point on, we all stopped writing on the group chat and I only interacted with my brother. I asked about the baby and SIL a lot, was worried and mostly felt bad for them because I know how it feels to be at the hospital with your baby. I did not question my brother’s request. I don’t know SIL as well as he does obviously and maybe she just wanted to focus exclusively on her baby (probably like I would) so I asked about them a lot, but only to my brother. About 2-3 weeks after they came back from the hospital, I find out SIL is very upset with me saying that I disappointed her and that I am not honest when I say I care about their daughter. My jaw dropped and I asked why she would say such things. Her response was that she expected me to ask her directly how she (not her baby) was doing. I then showed her my brother’s message (after she called me a liar because she did not believe me on my word), even then she kept insisting that I was wrong. She also fought with my brother about this a lot I am sure (but maybe she had a reasons with him).

Does that make sense now?[/quote]

OP, sounds like your brother asked people to cool it off with discussing baby's health situation in the family chat - which was understandably distracting to your SIL. It seems like you could reach your SIL directly to ask how she was doing. You misunderstood and she was upset. All understandable. She gets some credit here as I am sure she was super worried about the baby.

Your SIL may be a bit controlling or insecure, but many people are. It is your brother's issue to resolve. Live YOUR life. Do not take on other families' issued upon yourself to resolve. [/quote]

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