Reply to Making it work when the wife is the one with the "big job"

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Making it work when the wife is the one with the "big job" - s/o today's NY Times article"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote]I feel like I was already at my breaking point with our division of labor and this new revelation about how he refuses to go to "mom stuff" just burns me up inside. I literally can't keep up. I have almost no social life and make very little time for myself, and am constantly stressed and overworked. I can't take on more; I need to take on LESS. I don't think it's fair that he agrees that I should be the one to "lean in" when he's refusing to do the household work that goes along with the role of the spouse that leans out.

I told him that the only way I could really make this work in my mind is if he starts leaning in more, because then I could at least justify it in my mind. But the fact that he's watching tv for hours every night while I'm on the verge of an anxiety attack is just making me angry. It's obviously not that we need the money, but I wouldn't feel as used. And right now that is how I feel. He's not willing to do that and thinks that it's still better for the kids if he's physically present at night. In my core I think he's probably right, but that's not helping with the extreme resentment.

[b]How do I get over this? How do other people manage if you are in this position?[/b] [/quote]

To be completely honest, I would get to counseling with an eye towards divorce.  You make twice what he does and stand to make much more - hire a personal assistant/nanny and dump the dead weight.

I know others will completely disagree, but his behavior and attitude are pretty disgusting - tied up in his ego and complete disregard for you as a person.  I don't think I could just get over that.

Second suggestion is drop ANYTHING you do for him. Literally everything. And take a look at what the kids are doing - can you cut back/simplify?

Even if you don't want to divorce I would hire a personal assistant/house manager that will take care of managing the rest of the staff, making Dr.s appointments, registering for camps. paperwork, etc. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics