Reply to Unfair monetary treatment between me and step-siblings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I get it, OP. I couldn't give a crap about the stuff I get or don't get.  At least for me, if I am going to be treated as second rate, I feel I at least deserve greater honesty about it.

[b]What hurts is that this is being done by someone who looks at gifts as a statement of love... getting less is about meaning less, and that stings.[/b]

There's not a thing you can do because your mom has moved on from counting you first.

[/quote]
Exactly! She’s asking OP to help her select MORE thoughtful gifts she can give the others to go with the other presents, and meanwhile, she’s grabbing OP a gift card at the register like an afterthought. She’s clearly not putting the same amount of THOUGHT (not money, do you see?) into what she gets her own daughter. How many people do you think she consulted before selecting a Visa gift card?

It’s not about the monetary value at all. It’s about how little the mom is thinking about what unique gifts would please her own child, but rather, what things to get the others.

Why is this hard to understand?[/quote]

Here's a different perspective. OP's mom is the stepmom to those girls. I have a feeling that the girls were raised by their mother and not by the stepdad (in other words OP's mom never really lived with the girls or helped raised them). She may be talking about thoughtful gifts because she's trying to maintain a relationship with stepdaughters she may only see occasionally. There may also be a history of resentment by the girls at their father's second marriage, as is often the case, and OP's mom is trying to overcome that. OP's mom may feel that her relationship with her daughter is close enough that she doesn't need to worry about thoughtful gifts for her. Especially as OP is grown up. And OP's mom probably thinks she's spending her husband's money, not her own money, and it does make a difference.

I'm sure there's more going on here than the OP is telling us, which is usually the case with these threads. [/quote]

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