Reply to S/O: So what do men find attractive?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Mr. Douche could have responded to what he found attractive and left like the other men did.

Instead he took you girls on a ride about how complex and different he is. Oh so many layers of complexity. Then he ends with the shocker: He is like other men after all. There is this woman who meets his "high standards". But wait, she has short hair and does not wear make up so she fails. So close. .. except he is really not as complex as he thinks he is.

And you are stating how honest and refreshing he is.

If you are still single and thought that this guy's responses were refreshing and honest, you are in trouble. Get your head straight before you end up complaining about your husband in the next DCUM generation.  
[/quote]

Mr Douche here.  I'm not sure if the quoted poster, or others who took offense, are male or female, but it has prompted one more attribute to add to my list:

Positivity.

There are plenty of people (men and women) who go through life tilting at windmills, or bitching about every perceived slight.  Coworkers.  Bosses.  Friends.  Strangers.  Everyone is always stupid, incompetent, mean, out to get them, etc.  Heck, we see plenty of snark here on DCUM at people asking innocent questions or giving honest answers.  Everyone needs to be taken down a peg, and some people are always just the right person for that job!

I think one of the most attractive attributes in a man or a woman is positivity.  Be an optimist.  Assume positive intent.  Be open to new relationships, whether as friends or more.  You don't have to be an extrovert, but be open to having good relationships with people in your S/Os life.  In the context of male female relationships, too many women I know hate their S/O's friends.  Or family.  Or coworkers.  Or are always complaining about something.  Men like laid back, rolling with the punches, and a partner who is easy to please.

Back to my specific situation, the quoted poster needs to work on reading comprehension.  I'm happily married, and have been for a dozen years.  I'm not looking for a different LTR.  My wife more than meets my standards, which is why I snatched her up and have no intention of letting her go (we're discussing having a third child).  Heck, 3 of the 4 examples I gave are relatives or friends of my wife's.  Obviously I'm not trying to form a LTR with them.  I was just saying that these are objectively beautiful women that, knowing what I know about them, I would not want to be in a LTR with.  3 of the 4 reasons why were things in my list (physical affection / intimacy, fitness, and hair).  The fourth I just added above.

Which brings us to the hair / makeup thing that has some people up in arms.  I'll turn this around.  How many women would be attracted to a man with a full-on child-molester mustache?  How about a white dude with full-on dreads?  The woman I referred to made a conscious choice to embrace a very masculine look, and to the poster that said hyper-short haircuts on women can make them look like your brother, you are spot-on.  Honestly, a lot of people started assuming she was gay.  On the other thread (about what women like in men), there were comments about a lack of facial hair.  I don't think a woman needs to have hair halfway down her back; shoulders, or even chin (like a bob) can look good.  But take a man's haircut and put it on a woman, and all but supermodels will generally look more like men.  The woman in question coupled it with very baggy pantsuits and no makeup whatsoever, so she just never looked feminine.  My wife wears minimal makeup, but coupled with shoulder length hair and dressing well, she's not masculine in the slightest.  I'm sure there are guys that are into the men's haircut look; I'm just not one of them.

Finally, thanks to the OP and others who assumed positive intent in my response.  You'll notice that every item I listed is a choice or can be changed.  You can't easily double the size of your boobs or change the structure of your cheekbones.  Too many women go through invasive, costly surgeries (my sister had a nose job, and her best friend just got her boobs done) when they could focus on easier, more directly controllable things like being pleasant to others, wearing sunscreen instead of tanning, getting out and seeing the world (so they have interesting stories and experiences to share), etc.[/quote]

Look, your first post screamed douche. You came off as a man who thought he was very complex but turned out to be just as shallow, or even more shallow than the average man.

There is nothing off putting with being shallow(everyone is, to some extent) especially in a thread about what men find attractive. It's the spin you tried to put on it, the way you tried to distinguish yourself from others when you are not that different.

And I admire that you tried to backtrack on this one, but your last paragraph still reads like you sincerely think that are not that shallow. Sorry to break it to you, buddy, but ...[/quote]

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