Reply to DW work is impacting our marriage - looking for advice from the smart people of DCUM

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Regardless of whether you're a man or a woman, I think the way we tie our identities and sense of self-worth to our employment is the source of a lot of problems in society.

When the robots do everything, the people who own robots are going to be rich, the rest of us are going to be poor, and nobody is going to know where to find their identity. [/quote]

This is a gem in a mess of a thread. In a utopia, robots do the work, everyone gets a stipend, but yes, what will be our identity when we don't work?[/quote]

Totally disagree. Everyone wants to feel like they are making a difference, like they are doing something that has value, that they are using their talents. Some people get that feeling through pride in their home and families, some through their hobbies (like running marathons), some through their work. [/quote]

This thread is a perfect example, so many posters here trying to justify their own workaholic ways in a very transparent manner.  Newsflash folks, not seeing your kids more than half the evenings every single week because you chose to stay at work instead, whether you are a man or a woman, is just plain selfish.  If you aren’t willing to consider your kids more a priority than your career, you probably shouldn’t have had kids.  And I say this as a working woman who has never made less than six figures with a dh with one of the most time intensive careers out there.  Both of us put our kids first, and we have family dinners at least six nights a week,
.[/quote]

She didn't have a career at all for seven years but now to get her career restarted she's missed half the dinners (while her husband is home--no nanny) for three. And according to you this means she's unfit to be a mother and shouldn't have had kids? (And according to her husband she's not being a good wife, either?)

This is why the US reproductive rate is plummeting -- millenials women look at this and say "no thanks" [/quote]

Yes, if you can’t get your butt home for dinner with your kids four out of five weeknights, week after week,  you are a bad parent, whether you are the mom or dad.  One of the basics of being a parent is, you know, actually spending time with you kids on (gasp,) a daily basis.

Feel really really sad for your kids that you find this such a burden.[/quote]

DP: you're pretty insufferable.  This 4/5 weeknights thing is such a strange and arbitrary line in the sand, and you've decided it makes OP's wife a bad parent?

As a reminder: OP never once said that he thinks his wife is a bad mom.  Only you keep saying that.  OP said he wants sex one more time a week and some compliments on his household management skills.[/quote]

Not being home to see your kids four out five nights every week for over three years is good parenting to you?  Really?

Op’s wife may be over her relationship with him, [u]too bad she has taken to avoiding her kids as well to punish him[/u].  That’s pretty petty and immature.[/quote]

Speaking of petty and immature.   :shock:

You're . . . bringing your own stuff to the table here, to put it mildly.[/quote]

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