Reply to Is the line between "courtship" and harassment really that blurry?

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Reply to "Is the line between "courtship" and harassment really that blurry?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Yes, if you relentlessly comment on someone's appearance, they might loathe you. It's less fraught for women commenting about other women, but that can get obnoxious too.

And yes, this applies to "the world" and not just as work (although it's more important at work). Keep your comments on appearance to friends and family. 
[/quote]
OK, but "relentlessly" is your word, not mine.  I'm saying my wife will tell the lady behind the counter at the liquor store that she likes her glasses; I'll tell the 60-year-old woman at the corner market I like her fancy nail polish while she's ringing up my order.  If I see some guy with a cool pair of shoes, I'll tell him.  If we're on Metro near a cute baby, I might say "hey, cute baby!".  But no one's "relentlessly" harassing any one person with compliments.

I appreciate your candor.  Do you really follow that rule yourself?  Absolutely no appearance-related comments about anyone except friends and family?  I find that mind-boggling and perhaps a little sad, quite frankly.
[/quote]

I was not pp, but I did post about not complimenting appearances. I’m trying to think back on any recent comments. 
-I video chatted with my sister last week. The color of her shirt looked really pretty on her. I told her that. She said it wasn’t her favorite color, and I was like, “well the color is looking really good on you / in that light.”
-always tell my husband and my little baby. I don’t often tell my older kids, but if I do, I group it with other compliments. “Your hair is so pretty”, is my usual 
For DD, and my DS is told how handsome he is enough that he voluntarily tells people, “I’m so cute” and “I’m so handsome”

I can’t think of other recent ones. Maybe a close friend wearing a striking dress. The recent one I remember well I consider slip ups. I said to one lady, “you’re looking really really pretty today.” And I felt stupid. Because she did look prettier than usual. But we might have both been thinking, “what about the other days?!”
Another time, and this one is terrible. I saw two friends taking together. One was wearing a gorgeous outfit. I couldn’t help but compliment her...oops. Realized I should compliment BOTH people standing there, right? So I look at my other friend, and I was like, “I like your purple top. It’s cute.” I mean, she was wearing the most plain-Jane outfit ever. (What I usually wear).

So though you say you’re trying to spread joy, how about positively commenting on other things? Exchange
“Pretty nails!” For “wow, you’re really a fast grocery checker-outer.”
“Nice Stache bro” for “how’s that old car coming along? You’re always great at fixing up old beaters into something really nice.”[/quote]

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