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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

My DW has girls nights all the time and never, ever comes home raring to go.  Nor after date night.  The only time she shows some desire for sex before we get started is on vacation without the kids, which happens one, maybe two weekend a year.

I get this is hard to fathom in an otherwise good marriage where no one got out of shape and there is no resentment.  It happens to a lot of women, notice the men on the board who honestly have no idea what happened to the sexual vixen they married (after the kids come along).  [/quote]

I couldn't say if it happens to a lot of woman (though I suspect it does), but this accurately describes my wife as well. None of the usual reasons usually given by women on these boards really seems to apply in our case. She says she doesn't know, doesn't think it's my fault, wants to want to have sex, but just doesn't. Consequently, there's a lot of porn in my life. So, the orgasms are there, but I do miss the feeling of connection and the feeling that my wife wants me. [/quote]

[b]Why doesn't she fake it until she makes it? Does she not care that you use porn, and that her lack of interest may lead you to an affair?[/b][/quote]

NP here, in exact same situation as PP man who is mostly porn and once a week wife who lost sex drive, wishes she had one and feels bad about it.

Yes, she knows I use porn, she is smart enough not to ask how frequently.  She does fake it, but not convincingly and I would rather go solo than have sex with someone who doesn't want to.  She knows it's a big problem, has told me she doesn't want to know if I have an affair (and I have, most men in my situation have, trust me).

Thing is, as I hit mid-40s, my libido is calming down, her's is coming back a bit and 1x per week is doable.  So glad I didn't get caught with AP in my 30s.  I feel bad for couples that deal with the inevitability of infidelity during the early childhood years, if they can get through that time, most marriages go back on cruise control.  [/quote]

I would refer you 'no sex' guys to the 'My Husband is Clueless ' thread
- for a clue.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/650682.page[/quote]

My youngest is 15. The "taking care of babies" thread is unhelpful. [/quote]

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