Reply to my husband is a terrible gift giver and it bums me out each year

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[quote=Anonymous]I know this is an ancient thread but I just got married this year and my husbands birthday is on the 17th of December , I put a lot of effort into buying him personal gifts that I knew he would love, made him a cake, drove 2 hours to pick up one of his presents, and he loved it all of course. So I also did the same for Christmas and even had to search multiple places to find this one record I know he always wanted, and got him a few other things he had mentioned over the past year, I probably spent almost $400-500 dollars total because I really wanted our first birthday/Christmas together to be special. I even drove myself crazy finding the perfect gifts for my in laws and his sisters and brother niece, etc.  and last night when we got back home and finally opened our gifts to each other, he got me a DVD box set of a tv show I've already seen all the episodes to (I do love the show, but it is currently all available on Netflix as well and I've already seen them a million times) and I know on the 23rd he went to the store and bought a DVD or video game for each of his family members to add to the gifts I had already bought, so I know he just got it a couple days before Christmas and didn't even put effort into it... I'm just feeling really sad about it because I already dislike the pressure of Xmas but put in so much effort to get thoughtful presents for everyone else and I didn't get anything tailored to my personality at all... it was all generic things you get for someone you don't know that well. I feel really overlooked and I don't know how to mention it to my husband, he takes everything really seriously and if I said something he would turn it into me being materialistic, which is not the case, I would be fine with one $25 item if it was something that was thoughtful.or he would also turn it into the "I can't do anything right" argument, which is also not the case! I feel like it was so easy for me to think of things to get him just because I always listen and remember when he says things. So I guess I mostly feel crappy because he got me the same tired gift he gave the rest of his family... and he even spent more money on a fancy video game for his brother that was almost $70. It appears lots of husbands are like this, but my question is should we really be married to men who don't go out of their way to get to know us well enough to buy us one personal gift?? I'm seeing a lot of responses like "that's just how it is" but it really isn't! My ex boyfriend of 4 years always got me thoughtful presents that I loved, always did a great job, so it isn't all men... [/quote]

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