Reply to my husband is a terrible gift giver and it bums me out each year

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, was he a thoughtful gift-giver before you got married?[/quote]

OP here--
no, he wasn't.  Which was okay at the time because I honestly am very low maintenance and during the beginning years of our relationship (the first 5 or 7 at least) it didn't bother me that he isn't thoughtful when it comes to getting gifts.  But now a decade later and I'm feeling sort of worn out.  I bore this man 3 children and have done all sorts of things for him and the best he can do, year after year is the December 22nd completely generic $20 crappy token "holy crap, I have to get her something and Christmas is 2 days away!" gift.  
I guess I'm feeling just generally uncherished.  It's the same for birthdays and anniversaries and Valentine's day and everything else.  I'm just a bit beaten down and feeling sorry for myself.

And he's not the type to ever do something thoughtful like get me a cup of morning coffee like a previous poster mentioned.  He's a great provider and a great dad and I have no fears that he'll ever leave me.  He's slow and steady and committed.  But he's never been physically or emotionally demonstrative and has never made me feel special or cherished (aside from the fact that I know he's incredibly committed to me which I don't want to under credit him for).

I know I took this way off course.  Please don't flame me. [/quote]

For the record - you are not low maintenance. Start by admitting that.

Men are doing the best they can - lay it out in black and white and I mean it. Figure out what you want from him and tell him what it is.

Another question that gets to heart of the matter. Does he love? Really love you? If yes, then who cares about gifts. If you are not sure about the answer, then you are using gift-giving as a proxy for love which is a fools errand. Lots of dirtbag cheating husbands get their wives fabulous gifts of jewelry etc. Gifts are gifts and that is all. Deal with the real actual issue in first of you - and if there isn't an issue aside from crappy gifts, then dispassionately lay our your expectations for gift giving for him. And let him lay his expectations out. My DH just wants affection for christmas if you know what I mean.[/quote]

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