Reply to what's the worst affair story you've heard of where the marriage recovered?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "what's the worst affair story you've heard of where the marriage recovered?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What do Do with a Child of the Affair
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8122_affairchild.html
[/quote]

So a marriage is more important than the well-being of a completely innocent child?

Got it.  :roll: [/quote]

Yes.  It sounds awful but the situation is awful, and there are no good options in it.  The therapist's position is that recovering from infidelity starts, as a precondition, from complete severance of ties with the affair partner, and that the marriage cannot recover as long as the wayward spouse maintains contact with the AP.  When affairs produce a child, and the wayward spouse wants to maintain contact with the child (which necessarily means contact with the AP parent), the marriage has very low odds of recovering because few marriages can withstand the pressure of constant contact with the AP and ongoing reminder of infidelity.  Bluntly speaking, the betrayed spouse cannot begin recover until the AP is completely out of the picture.

Preserving the marriage protects the children of marriage and the wife, who are completely innocent as well.  So, the choices are between the wellbeing of an innocent child of the affair, and the wellbeing of the innocent children of marriage + wife.  The therapist votes for protecting the innocent children of marriage + wife. [/quote]

+1 Million

Some people cannot seam to grasp that 100% fairness is simply not possible in life most of the time. [b]Trade offs are real.[/b] [/quote]

The trade-off that you are advocating is abandoning a child to a life without a father.  In return, the children of the marriage are allowed to maintain a relationship with their father that is based on the lie that their Dad didn't cheat and that they don't have a half-sibling out in the world.

Your solution does a disservice to both the children of the marriage and the child of the affair. Children of the marriage need to know the truth, even if it's painful and results in divorce. The child of the affair needs to have a father in his life.
[/quote]
Children of the marriage can be told the truth when they are older.  Nothing told to children results in divorce because children don't divorce.  Certainly a flawed father is better than no father for them.

The child of the affair is not abandoned to a life without a father (and certainly, this is something his mother should have thought about before getting pregnant).  The mother can marry an available man who will be a father figure to the child.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics