Reply to what's the worst affair story you've heard of where the marriage recovered?

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Reply to "what's the worst affair story you've heard of where the marriage recovered?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What do Do with a Child of the Affair
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8122_affairchild.html
[/quote]

So a marriage is more important than the well-being of a completely innocent child?

Got it.  :roll: [/quote]

Yes.  It sounds awful but the situation is awful, and there are no good options in it.  The therapist's position is that recovering from infidelity starts, as a precondition, from complete severance of ties with the affair partner, and that the marriage cannot recover as long as the wayward spouse maintains contact with the AP.  When affairs produce a child, and the wayward spouse wants to maintain contact with the child (which necessarily means contact with the AP parent), the marriage has very low odds of recovering because few marriages can withstand the pressure of constant contact with the AP and ongoing reminder of infidelity.  Bluntly speaking, the betrayed spouse cannot begin recover until the AP is completely out of the picture.

Preserving the marriage protects the children of marriage and the wife, who are completely innocent as well.  So, the choices are between the wellbeing of an innocent child of the affair, and the wellbeing of the innocent children of marriage + wife.  The therapist votes for protecting the innocent children of marriage + wife. [/quote]

+1 Million

Some people cannot seam to grasp that 100% fairness is simply not possible in life most of the time. Trade offs are real. [/quote]

Fairness doesn't always equal doing the right thing. That website actively advocates for a woman who has had another man's child to try to stop the man from being able to prove paternity or to see the child. And they advocate for the male to completely forgo all responsibilities to the child they had out of wedlock in order to protect 'the marriage.' I'm sorry but my marriage is not worth destroying an innocent child or keeping an innocent child from one of their parents. And I am not raising my kids to think that if they just pretend the bad thing they did never happened, then they can go on living some blissfully ignorant lifestyle.

The cheater made a mistake, that mistake resulted in a human being that the cheater is as responsible for as the children in their marriage. To assist someone in the abandoning of this duty, particularly for selfish motivations, is morally reprehensible to me.

And I would LOVE to know if the poster who just threw out moral relativism like it has a bad taste in her mouth is the marriage builders proponent. Because that is basically the epitome of moral relativism. Do the right thing unless it makes me or my kid's life harder, then no way.[/quote]

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