Reply to what's the worst affair story you've heard of where the marriage recovered?

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Reply to "what's the worst affair story you've heard of where the marriage recovered?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What do Do with a Child of the Affair
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8122_affairchild.html
[/quote]

So a marriage is more important than the well-being of a completely innocent child?

Got it.  :roll: [/quote]

Yes.  It sounds awful but the situation is awful, and there are no good options in it.  The therapist's position is that recovering from infidelity starts, as a precondition, from complete severance of ties with the affair partner, and that the marriage cannot recover as long as the wayward spouse maintains contact with the AP.  When affairs produce a child, and the wayward spouse wants to maintain contact with the child (which necessarily means contact with the AP parent), the marriage has very low odds of recovering because few marriages can withstand the pressure of constant contact with the AP and ongoing reminder of infidelity.  Bluntly speaking, the betrayed spouse cannot begin recover until the AP is completely out of the picture.

Preserving the marriage protects the children of marriage and the wife, who are completely innocent as well.  So, the choices are between the wellbeing of an innocent child of the affair, and the wellbeing of the innocent children of marriage + wife.  The therapist votes for protecting the innocent children of marriage + wife. [/quote]

The child still deserves its parents, at the very least the financial support of both its parents. That's law. Children raised without a father are at a higher risk of lots of things (sexual abuse, for example) than children raised with an active father figure. Quite incredible to me that anyone would advocate denying the existence of a child for the wellbeing of a marriage. [/quote]

I don't think anyone argues with the financial support due.

I also don't think anyone denies that not having a father figure is a bad thing.  But the choice is between shortchanging the child of the affair and shortchanging the children of marriage + wife.  Doing justice to both is hard, and places the marriage under a constant threat of divorce.

Plus, a former AP has a much higher chance of her own marriage if the father of her child is not around too much or too enmeshed in their lives.  The best option for the AP is to find someone to marry and provide a father figure to her child on a full-time (rather than part-time) basis.  [/quote]

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