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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Donating a kidney is definitely not the cringy part. That is absolutely not the issue.

[b]The issue was with the perceived bragging and look at me and asking for attention and validation that Dawn was characterized as doing in the original New York Times story. Upon further review and research it seems that that is not actually what happened. [/b]

Not that it makes what they did OK, but sometimes if you’ve encountered this sort of neediness and attention demanding in a person, especially one who may not be the good person they’re trying to portray themselves as being, it raises a flag.

In that way I think it could’ve been a Rorschach test.

[/quote]

I do actually think it happened. Dawn posted in the private support group, but she also posted about things to the rest of Facebook. The stuff about being honored at the Laker game and being the the Rose Bowl parade -- that stuff definitely got posted more widely. I am certain there were people who saw it and found it braggy and attention seeking, because it's hard to post anything to social media and not come off that way to at least someone. I don't do social media anymore for this reason. I found other people's posts annoying and I know they found mine annoying. I think these platforms are anti-social in many ways, in that they encourage this type of sharing and inevitably invoke jealous, resentful, eye-rolling responses in others. I think it's better when we know less about each others lives and people are not as encouraged to show off the good stuff in their lives.

I think the reason this aspect of Dawn's behavior doesn't bother me that much, though, is that while I've been really annoyed by similar behavior from other people before, there is a huge difference. In those cases, these were people who had behaved in decidedly unkind ways before, either directly towards me or right in front of me towards people I know. In those cases, I absolutely found the bragging about their "good works" to be revolting because it seemed to be a way to conceal or distract from their interpersonal behavior, which was no good.

But there's no evidence that Dawn every did anything like this to provoke this kind of response. Neither Sonya nor anyone else in her circle can identify anything Dawn ever said or did that would make her somewhat self-congratulatory posts about her kidney donation seem hypocritical. I don't understand why Sonya was so exercised over Dawn's behavior on Facebook given that, by all accounts, Dawn had never been anything but pleasant to her.  I don't get why Sonya was inspired to write a take down of Dawn in "The Kindest", or use that letter, when Dawn's only "offense" was doing something that everyone (including Sonya and Celeste Ng and pretty much every person involved in this sordid conflict) does on social media, which is play up the good stuff in your life for likes.[/quote]

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