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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I posted earlier but here is an example of where I'm having trouble detaching.  A few months ago, I told DH it feels like we never have fun and can we each come up with a few ideas for things we think would be fun to do together.  I came up with about 5. He had two, one of which included doing something with our child (which is not the point) and the other was seeing a movie that is in a genre he knows I hate.  He is also the type that if he doesn't want to do something or finds it beneath him or uninteresting, it is VERY obvious.  That is why I wanted his ideas.  I'd go along with pretty much anything where we could actually interact with each other.

It sounded like he'd be ok with a cooking class. Great!  I asked him to select the type of food that interests him most and put it on the calendar.  Three months later, it never happened.  He then tells me a week or so ago that yeah, he just doesn't have ANY time to plan these type of things so if I want to do it, I'll have to plan it.

How do I detach from him not wanting to spend the time, effort, or money into doing something just for fun?  How can I make it fun now and not laden with pressure and resentment if I now plan it?

I just don't make any plans with him now. It doesn't feel like that's a complete solution though.
[/quote]

To me, this is something that you want to do...so why not just plan it.

After you've had fun doing this together, maybe you can talk about the next thing you want to do together to have fun.

I'm better at planning things than my DH so I've just let it go and do it. It's much better than sitting at home all the time feeling resentful that he doesn't plan anything. I get to do fun things and he's happy to go, he just doesn't do planning very well. [/quote]

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