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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Guy perspective here: Mother runs off to another state and takes his child with her. He has no control over this, but he does the right thing and pays child support. Mother establishes new life and child is in stable situation. He doesn't want to interfere with that.

I can see the logic in that, especially from a guy who hasn't raised a child yet. Once you do (as most of us here have), it seems unfathomable, but I totally could understand that logic before I had children. It's difficult for men to bond with a baby in the first year anyway (I know from experience), so he may not have had much opportunity to develop a bond with the baby before his girlfriend moved her away.[/quote]

Yes, I agree. (And I'm a woman)[/quote]

I agree, too.

I also agree with the poster who said its unreal how sanctimonious some of you are when every other post on here is about a guy who doesn't step up and do his half of the parenting work. Look in the mirror, people.[/quote]

I think the second part of this post is interesting, and true.  There are TONS of families on DCUM where the father basically does nothing parenting-wise but provide money.  I'll bet a bunch of the women chewing this guy out are posting "My DH doesn't do his to-do list!" or "DH can't be alone with the baby!" an hour later.  [/quote]

Are you really saying it's OK to be an uninvolved dad? You're equating not being with baby with not seeing your DD for 11 years, which seems like a ridiculous comparison for starters. And then you're blaming the wives for being "sanctimonious" about both these things. [/quote]

Of course I'm not saying it's OK to be an uninvolved dad. I'm just asking people to look at the hypocrisy that they're displaying.[/quote]

How on earth is it hypocritical to think that uninvolved dads are doing something bad but that a completely absent dad is doing something abhorrent? [/quote]

Let me try to make it clear since you're still not getting it. Every day there is a post on here about a man that has no interest in his children, that stays late at work intentionally to not come home, that can't do anything involving the kids without a long list of instructions, etc. There was even a post today about a man saying he hates his newborn child.

I am virtually certain that some of the posters on here saying that this guy is so horrible are married to useless douchebags. Then they get all high and mighty about the kind of guy that OP should hold out for. It's very ironic.[/quote]

I'm the "Are you really saying it's OK?" poster. You're not making sense. If some posters here married useless douchebags, then all the better that they're on this thread telling OP to run not walk. Don't you get that they want OP to be *happier* than they are. They speak from experience. You're arguing that someone who made a mistake (school, product, whatever) can't tell others how to avoid the same mistake. [/quote]

Good Lord. I'm obviously not talking about self-aware people who are advising the OP based on their own experience. My point is that there are a lot of delusional women on here talking about how terrible this guy is and then turning around and pretending they're happily married when their husband says he's working till 10 again on Friday night. Really not sure how to explain it further.[/quote]

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