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[quote=Anonymous]I am a perfect example of what the OP is complaining about. After our kids were born, I poured all my energy into them and let the marital relationship slide. I thought that being a good parent, and doing most of the work around the house, would be enough. The marriage wound up being last, after work and kids and boring household maintenance stuff. Sex and even date night or cuddling were always last in priority - if something else came up, they were always the thing that got postponed. Now our marriage is on the rocks. My spouse no longer shows any affection and barely communicates with me at all. The number one thing I failed to understand over the past decade is that you don't have separate "duty to kids" and "duty to marriage", [i]they are the same[/i]. Your kids will suffer if the marriage fails so you owe it to your kids to spend the time needed to maintain the marriage.

Where I differ from the OP is that the person who overinvested in attention to kids at the expense of the marriage - that is, me - am a man, and the OP seems to think only women do this. Sometimes fatherhood can destroy a marriage, too...[/quote]

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