Reply to 3.5 and 4 year olds not potty trained...how did that happen?

Forum Index » Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers

Reply to "3.5 and 4 year olds not potty trained...how did that happen?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the PP who still wet the bed at age 8 (what a distinguishing characteristic).  I wasn't objecting to the idea of potty training at age 2.5.  I have 2 kids, both of whom day trained easily between 2.5 and 3.  Both of them tried night training; it took pretty easily with one, the other...not so much.  And so he remains in a pull up at night at age 5.  We give it a chance periodically, but if it doesn't work, no problem.

I was reacting to the googly eyed shock post, where you said you "fear" having an 8 year old in pull up, and the one before that, saying that the mom should "do the kid a favor" by getting him out of pull ups.  My point was that I was that kid, and I would have preferred the pull ups.  And I was disagreeing with the underlying premise of both posts- that bedwetting issues are caused by lazy parenting.  Believe me, my parents tried it all.  [b]Do you all really think the mom of the 8 year old never tried to get him to use the toilet at night?  [/b]

Also, I disagree that there's a clear link between relatively late training and bed wetting issues.  In fact, it may go the other way, as discussed here.   http://www.babble.com/toddler/dangers-potty-training-early/[/quote]

I am the "fear" google-eyes poster.  And actually, yes, the poster I was responding to did seem to have a very laissez-faire attitude towards training, which provoked my shock face.  If parents try, and it doesn't work, I don't judge!  And I certainly don't ASSUME that the parents are lazy about it unless they give me a reason to think so (such as saying "my 8 year old's in pullups, I just thought it would be easier not to ever make an issue of it" as PP did).  I apologize if my fear offends you, but to be clear, my fear is that I will have caused my child a hardship such as not being night trained by age 8 if I do not give them the opportunity to start potty training early.  It appears you disagree that it is even possible that parenting could exacerbate this, and it's great that that is not the case in your situation - but I do believe it plays a role.  Sounds like you're doing it right, try it every now and then and not make a big deal if it doesn't work.  That's exactly how I plan to do it when we get there.

I tend to agree with the notion, however, that the availability of disposables makes it easier for kids to ignore body cues for longer, makes it harder for parents to actually do the training, and just overall pushes the boundary beyond what is natural.  It's great that they also make it easier for the kid not to have shame over things they can't control--but I think this is something I wanted to be proactive about, partly out of fear that I would cause my child a problem that he/she would not otherwise have.

[/quote]

Lol.  Well, I guess I should have know what I was in for in responding to a post on this topic.  In truth, I don't see much difference between what I have done and what the mom of the 8 year old has done.  I would characterize myself as laissez-faire to be sure.

There's no need to read between the lines here- what I believe is what I said in my prior post- the link between bedwetting and early vs. late training is not clear.  The link was to an article by the pediatric urologist who wrote It's No Accident, explaining why he believes early training leads to withholding and constipation, which in turn leads to problems like bedwetting.  I understand there is literature to the contrary.  I'm not a doctor, and I think that perhaps the truth lies somewhere in between- different kids benefit from different approaches.  Which is why with potty training, as with many other things, I try to be relaxed and read my children as we go along, rather than adhering to the belief that there is one way for parents to be "doing it right".  But, thanks for the praise, I guess.[/quote]

Yeah I honestly don't think we disagree much if at all.  I think I should just avoid using the emoticons because they come off as judgier than I intend them!  I just boggled at the casual "oh, my 8 year old's in a pullup - whatevz."  Maybe I interpreted that post wrong, but that's why I wigged out about it.  To the extent your response was intended to make me feel guilty for that, it definitely succeeded!  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics