Reply to What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have lied about my number of sexual partners for almost 20 years. Told the lie once and never found a way to tell the truth. And he is totally one that will be hurt by the dishonesty even 20 years later. Wish that I was mature enough to go with the "none of your business" line at the time.

I am convinced that when I am old and forgetful that I will let it slip. ;) [/quote]

What did you tell him vs. the true number?  [/quote]

Told him 2, real number is 7.[/quote]

Um, you're wasting a whole lot of angst over 5 partners?[/quote]

Goes to honesty.  My DW told me two then a few years later let slip that there was a third.  Why would she have lied about him to begin with? I have to assume that there were more than that.[/quote]

Correct answer. It's not the number, it's the dishonesty surrounding the number. Why lie unless there was a reason? What else has she felt a reason to lie about?[/quote]

She lied because women have been told that if you ever have more than 1 sexual partner, you are a not a woman worth dating or marrying. You've lost your value. That's why she kept the number low, and now she feels guilty for it. Which she shouldn't. We don't usually ask men how many sexual partners they've had because in our society, men can be as promiscuous as they want and it's fine. Really, who cares? It's not that big of a deal, and it doesn't impact your character. Her lying because of societal expectations doesn't mean that she's lying on moral or ethical grounds.  :roll: [/quote]

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