Reply to Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here-someone said  raising the kids didn't take all of your time. They are right. It does not. What it takes is all of my energy, and I think there's an important distinction.  I don't want to be a resentful person and hate DH, but I know I would become that if ALL of the childcare was on me, plus all of the housework, and to top it off, all of the cooking. DH also travels a lot. Like, a ton. I spent months 2-4 and 8-10 by myself.  And it's my first time with a baby, and it can be hard and isating and menial, so adding cooking to the list-something I really am not good at and do not enjoy-is not something I've prioritized at all, and we've been floundering. I also did contribute a lot financially to our marriage before kids-I worked FT and started a good side business, and as a result saved enough that we will be able to put fifty percent down on our forever home.  I'm really proud of that. I think stay at home parents make a really valuable contribution to the family, but because it is not monetized, SAHMs have a lot of potential to take on more than their fair share of responsibility. I see it over and over on these boards, and I think that is a hard road.  [/quote]

OK, this is a lot of good new information. DH's travel is a big game changer. I suggested taco night, etc. above, and I stand by it, but my amended advice in this light is to pick two days when you will cook (or just heat!) something. Get 2 days of leftovers out of it and order the rest or eat sandwiches. Two nights, OP! I recommend chili (super fast and easy and you can freeze the rest for a hot meal with no effort later), soup, salad with grilled chicken you purchase already cooked, etc. Your DH will probably not care if you "cook," per se; I think he wants some effort of some sort.

I get that you're chafing at your new role and your sense that you're expected to be a maid and a cook and a nanny too - that resentment is common, if not universal, among women who worked FT before staying home. It feels sexist and unfair. I know, I was there. But still...you need to step up a little here. Just a little. [/quote]

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