Reply to I'm ashamed of my husband.

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[quote=Anonymous]I think OP is depressed and looking for a cause.  I was always blaming my depression on my husband but, surprise, after the divorce and free of him, surprise, I was still depressed.  I try to self-talk that I am lucky in so many ways, as many of these posters have urged OP to do, but when you are depressed, at least for me, the self-talk even with meds to support it, just doesn't get me very far.  I feel for the OP because she is heading down a path that is going to make her more and more miserable as time goes on.

She wants kids, and that is probably why she's in denial that she needs to let this guy go.  He's her ticket to kids and she probably thinks things will be fine once she has them because she can mold them her way.  But they will be his kids too, and probably at least one of them will take after the dad in sloppy uncoordinated fashion.  Or they will grow up to repeat her mistake in settling for someone that she grows to resent.

I'm almost crying to think how I should have taken this advice 20 years ago when I realized the mistake I'd made.  Please, OP, you are young.  Set this man free and find someone who makes your heart sing.  It would be a kindness to him and your future children.[/quote]

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