Reply to Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?

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Reply to "Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Very simple.

When a child is conceived, unless they make alternate arrangements (such as giving the child up for adoption), the mother and father agree to take responsibility for that child until the child is no longer a minor, in most US jurisdictions, this is 18.  If the couple separate or divorce, they still have that responsibility for the child.  If either parent finds a new partner, they do so knowing that they still have the responsibility for the child.  If someone marries a partner who already has a child from prior to the marriage, they should do so knowing that their partner already has a standing responsibility to a child that does not get discarded just because they are divorced.  Second marriages are undertaken with the understanding that there is a prior responsibility that still has to be respected and accounted for.  If you don't want a partner with divided responsibilities and want your marriage to be first and foremost, don't marry a partner who has minor children.  If you do, you do so accepting that they have the responsibility to put those children before you or your marriage.

The children come first because the parent made that commitment first and can only go into new commitments, such as a new marriage, with that in mind.
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Disagree. Yes to the part where the first obligation has to be respected and accounted for. No to the part where it comes FIRST. [/quote]

I agree with you.  Parents are responsible, but prioritizing children doesn't mean catering to their every whim and desire.[/quote]

But it's "catering to every whim and desire" only when it's not your child, so you don't love them like your child.  When it's your child, it's normal stuff a parent does for a child.  Look, I don't blame second wives.  I wouldn't want my household finances impacted by a kid who is not mine.  But that's why I didn't marry a man with kids.  The only kids in my house are ours.  Life is easier that way.  I always pity these women.  They think they can wish or will away the reality.[/quote]

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