Reply to Update: New nephews not fitting into family dynamic

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Completely NP. Not sure if OP is sock puppeting. I can see both sides. A nice birthday party for dad. Not wanting the misbehaving in-law step - children throwing a tantrum. 
But it is rude to invite BIL and three nieces and exclude new SIL and step nephews, even if they are brats.
So, make amends OP.  Stress that you really are just concerned about having a nice party for your dad, and you didn't mean for her to be insulted by your efforts. Ask her for advice on how to have a good evening with the boys and attendance. Maybe you could  arrange that if they want to sit and play video games they need to go to another room where none of the guests are.  That way the boys can come, brother-in-law and sister-in-law are happy, and they will be in a room where they can throw tantrums without anyone noticing. [/quote]

No, no, no.  OP should tell the BIL and SIL to shape up or ship out.  This coddling of the boys and their mother is BS.  The tolerance of the BILs standing by and doing nothing about this is BS, too.  Bad behavior should have consequences.

This is why their are so many inconsiderate people running around.  People put up with their nonsense and make excuses for them.[/quote]
 I wasn't making excuses for them.  The OP cannot parent other people's children.  If brother-in-law and his children are as close to her father Ashley claims, then it is completely inappropriate to only invite brother-in-law and the daughters and not sister-in-law and her sons.   It isn't 0P's birthday. It is her father. Her father - who according to OP - considers her brother-in-law's children his grandchildren. He wants them there. It is not for her to dictate that only half her BILs family can come. [/quote]

The grandfather doesn't want the boys there nor does he want them on vacations anymore.[/quote]
Then grandfather needs to take the hit for not wanting them there.[/quote]

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