Reply to Every couple should spend a week with children before having a family.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am woman in my mid-40s, never married, no kids, straight. Happy. Dating a 42-year-old single divorced dad with a 7-year-old son.

In my 20s, I was a special education teacher, middle school. I was getting paid $400 every two weeks for a "part time" teaching position. I also taught part time at a college, and I eventually left the field.

However, I really enjoyed being around kids. When I had my 20-minute lunch, I would sometimes:

- Monitor the cafeteria
- Suction the breathing tube of a child in a wheelchair 
- Return phone calls from parents

My point is, I made a lot of sacrifices to be a teacher, working and putting myself through school, making no money in return.

Today, I have advanced degrees and I am in a different career field, that is more lucrative. It wounds me deeply when women my age look down on me and call me selfish for not having children of my own. I know that biological parents aren't always the best at actually raising children. Most parents on this forum are probably excellent parents. It isn't right, however, to feel superior to women who have never had children of our own.

I have noticed this disturbing trend, where mothers especially are very defensive about the importance of a "job" that women have been doing since the beginning of time. I think it is the difference in income inequality in some cities, where young college educated people are becoming bitter and disillusioned at not having as much money as they see others have. So, they want others to pay for their kids, maybe financially, maybe through SNAP or Obamacare subsidies, because they think they are continuing civilization for the rest of us. That's warped. [/quote]

you sound bitter.  I'm sorry that you made so many sacrifices and don't feel that you were rewarded in kind.  And I don't think you are selfish for not having children, I think that everyone should make their own choices.  But you do sound bitter.

To your point about the "disturbing trend" you see among mothers:  staying at home with kids, esp. when they are young, IS a job.  Just one that isn't paid and doesn't come with social security, health insurance, or other financial remuneration.  Think of it this way, if a parent has a paid job, then need to [b]pay[/b] someone to watch their children, take them to the docs, etc.  If a parent is a high earner and works long hours, they usually [b]pay[/b] someone to help with the household chores as well like cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc.  Just because (primarily) women have been raising children since the beginning of time without pay, does not make the job less important or demanding.  And I know plenty of stay at home fathers too.  These days, it is usually a fluid arrangement, with parents staying home, working part time, switching roles, etc.  
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There was no bitterness in her post.  [/quote]

[i]However, I really enjoyed being around kids. When I had my 20-minute lunch, I would sometimes:

- Monitor the cafeteria
- Suction the breathing tube of a child in a wheelchair 
- Return phone calls from parents

My point is, I made a lot of sacrifices to be a teacher, working and putting myself through school, making no money in return.

I think she sounds bitter.  She made sacrifices (choices) to become a teacher (paid job), did a little extra sometimes (nice), then left the field. Now thinks mothers are using the system to pull one over on all of us.  Charming.
[/quote]

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