Reply to In shock - he cheated

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. It is kind of you to check in.  After years of replying and advising others on their posts, it is helpful for me to read through replies on my own (sad sack) thread.

I've been OK. Staying busy with work, biz travel, working out, seeing friends. I've been reading a lot of online articles and forums, and books on infidelity. And I have been trying to balance time alone, with my thoughts, and being social and active, too.

My husband and I have been interacting a little more. We have had a few conversations - about therapy, my conflicting feelings on staying vs. going, why he thinks he may have done what he did. They have been honest, tearful conversations, and he is being respectful with me -- talking if I want to talk, giving me space if I do not. I have spent some time at home this weekend, but made plans with friends to be away a bit too. I am not totally comfortable at home, and with him still. On his end, He has closed his old email account and changed his cell phone number, and has offered me complete access to his phone, email, etc. when I may wish to access it. He daily confirms how terrible he feels and how he is deeply regretful and ashamed of himself and what he is done to me. He daily states he loves only me and wants only me in his future. I do believe him, but it is not enough for me to make a decision right now. I need more time with my feelings before I decide what to do. And if I do stay and see if things can be repaired, I know and he knows, it doesn't mean I won't decide to leave at some point. I just am not sure if this is something ii can recover from, and I need more time to decide.

I've had two therapy sessions and have another one scheduled for this week. My husband has also had a few sessions, and has been reading books on infidelity - a few that cover the angles from all sides (how to recover from being the unfaithful party, and how to support the person you betrayed). We have our first couples counseling session next week.

I have, since all this has happened, become hyper aware of how incredibly common infidelity is. It of course does not change my perception of what is right or wrong, but has made me see how many people I know, we know, have been or are actively unfaithful. It's pretty sad, but on some level it is "nice" knowing my situation is not unique.

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