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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When you arrived this year, was everyone else there and already eating, or were you there before the meal began? [/quote]

OP here.  MIL was on her best behavior, and did not tell guests to start before everyone was there, as she had in years past.  She told her daughters to take on a bulk of the food, even thought she (MIL) was supposed to be "hosting".  I had asked everyone to tell me what to bring, they said nothing, but we brought some food anyway.

Here is the key: With the additional guests being invited, MIL puts on her best face.  We leave the house before the new guests leave, to ensure the buffer is there during our visit.  We are grateful that MIL is so concerned with saving face, it works in our favor.  Now, if only this was true one other time during the year.......

Thank you to those who are sympathetic, supportive, and who know what a sticky situation this is, and want to be helpful about it.  As for the other PP, who insists on "challenging" me, I suspect it is MIL.  :)

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