Reply to Christmas at McDonald's

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Christmas at McDonald's"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP- I think you are spending a lot of energy wondering why DH's family is full of awful human beings. You know the answer. They are dysfunctional and emotionally manipulative/abusive. It's not uncommon for families like that to have some kind of scapegoat, ie DH.

I think that you are best off doing what you can to support your husband's emotional health. If he is not ready to cut ties then at least mitigate the toxic interactions by eating in advance, bringing dessert and playing dumb to any of their mind games. you can try to arm chair diagnose and justify all you want but the reality is their behavior is socially unacceptable and they are unwilling to change it.

They are not going to change. This is a house full of velociprators (see here for the joke http://captainawkward.com/2012/09/17/353-354-bathrooms-butts-and-boundaries/#comment-27246[/quote]

+ millions!! OP here.  Thanks for the laugh.  Should I be concerned that DH covers both topics mentioned in that article (both cleanliness/keeping house and monopolizing the loo)?  :shock:  Excellent read, BTW, thank you.  Indeed DH's family (and DH) have abuse and control issues - this has been brought up to me/us before.  It is exacerbated by their being overly concerned with how they project themselves to others.  When they get called on their behaviors, all hell breaks loose!

Here is the good news:  MIL can't stand herself.  She is not the nicest person.  She has been inviting extended family, and we talk to them - they are normal!  In addition to the extended family providing someone to talk to, they also keep MIL on her best behavior.

I have covered this before, but am more than happy to keep stating this fact: we do bring dishes for everyone to share.  We ask MIL, she says no, but we bring enough for everyone.  What I noticed this year is that SILs (MILs daughters) are covering for MILs lack of planning, or lack of caring.  The SILs actually brought more *main* dishes, so there would be enough, even for the additional guests.  So, SILs are admitting there is a problem, and they don't want others to know about it, either (much like MIL).

In other words, MIL does not want to come out and admit she is in the wrong; but someone is recently covering for her,  In addition, MIL is keenly concerned (not aware, just concerned) with what others think, so it works out. Progress, friends, progress. The key is having them feel like they are answering to someone (i.e.: the extra guests).  As I am not a professional, this is my guess.

And how was YOUR holiday?  [/quote]

If you do bring dishes to share, then why is there no food for your kids to eat? The kids can eat the food that you bring.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics