Reply to If DH is a law firm partner, must I be the default parent?

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Reply to "If DH is a law firm partner, must I be the default parent?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a nanny. Both of my employers are lawyers ( Dad a partner, MB about to make partner). Her schedule is a little more flexible but I work 50-60/hr weeks. Most days I put the baby to bed. I love my job and my employers are involved when they can be but I've learned never to marry a lawyer who plans on being a partner. They make a great loving but the dad works up to 90 hours weeks sometimes. I think both parents should do as much as they can but the mom does tend to do whatever I don't. [/quote]

That would break my heart.  No amount of money in the world is worth being away from your child 50-60 hours a week.  Even worse if both parents are doing it.  You are their mother at this point.  [b]Why do people like that even have kids?[/b]   And to clarify, I am not anti WOHM.  I work.  My DH has a very demanding job, but doesn't (and wouldn't) work a 60 hour work week. That's just not fair to the children.[/quote]

I[b] feel like a significant number of working parents in the dc area need 50 hours a week of child care, between work and commuting..[/b].[/quote]

Of course they do. Its the norm, so your post is wildly unhelpful and condescending, PP. How much child care do you need if you work? I am part time and need 40 hours (I have to get ready and commute, so four days, at ten hours a day.). If I was full time I would need 50.[/quote]

And this is so, so obnoxious. Many parents that work have great, adjusted, happy, wonderful children. Many don't. Many SAH parents have great children who turn out wonderfully. Many don't. It does not dictate the outcome nor is it a prerequisite for having children. I work in part because I have a daughter and I hate the idea of sending her the message that after you have kids the only fair option is for mommy to dial way back or quit (because that is really what we are talking about here, right? I see little mention of dad's dialing it back.), [/quote]

I'm a WOHM and I agree PP's phrasing was totally obnoxious and meant to get a rise out of people. But I also think it can't be healthy for a family to have both parents working such inflexible, intensive jobs that they rarely see their kids. It would bum me out, and DH, and the kids to have them in childcare 60 hours a week. We have staggered our schedules (one of us is out of the house 7-5, the other 10-8) and, yes, I insisted on a day working from home so that that wouldn't happen. I would be so miserable if I only saw the kids on weekends.[/quote]

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