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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi OP,
I am going to assume that not only are you having a bad day, but that everyday is pretty stressful for you and these kind of minor issues are big stressors for you as a result.

But you're upset because you hold assumptions that may or may not be true. These assumptions are:

1) Everyone needs to pull their own weight.

No they don't. It would be nice but they don't need to. Stop believing that everyone needs to contribute equally and you will stop being upset.

2) If someone isn't pulling their weight, then they must be lazy.

No, there are a million different reasons besides being lazy. Try to think of the most sympathetic reason - e.g., the person is fatigued because s/he is receiving treatment for cancer.  S/he was in a car accident at some point and nearly died or nearly killed someone and now avoids driving at all costs because of the trauma. S/he is depressed and can barely get through the day without thinking of ending his or her life but can't do this because of the kids. So carpooling isn't at the opt of her/her list.

3) I'm suffering/have a greater workload than they do.

It probably feels like this a lot of the time. But there are people a lot worse off than you and you know it. If you stop feeling like you're worse off, you'll stop feeling justified in expecting him/her to chip in.

I'm a single parent - I work full-time, have full custody, and am pretty much on my own - if your biggest gripe today is that people are not participating equally in carpooling, count your blessings![/quote]

I don't agree with  number 1.  I pull my own weight and I expect other adults to do the same.[/quote]

No kidding.  How do they tie their own shoes?

[/quote]

Do what you can, give what you can. Don't keep score. Life doesn't have to be even to be fair. This is how I live and what I teach my kids when they complain about each other.[/quote]

Okay then the rule of natural consequences applies. Don't think you can handle having four children, when in reality you are dependent on other families to drive your kids around.  You chose a boatload of kids, and you don't even work full time. I am gone at least 10 hours each weekday, and I stopped at two kids. I didn't stop at 2 kids so I could drive myself crazy handling other people's children.[/quote]

It sounds like the other family is perfectly happy with what they have. It's OP who insists they do things differently. Not clear what or how but in her own mysterious, cryptic way she has made it clear she is the one with the issue.[/quote]

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