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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I really feel for you and the stage of grief you are in- this is so typical for anyone suffering a loss, whether it be a death in the family, a traumatic accident that leads to a disability, cheating spouse...etc.

You are still in the phase were you are hoping life will just go back to normal- [b]it won't[/b], and deep down you know that. even if your husband were honest in rebuilding your trust (so far he has only placated you to get you off his back.)

When you are ready to except that life as you knew it pre-affair is gone, and only you can decide for yourself how to move forward (with all the information.) Then you will be in a stronger place to set terms for any possible reconciliation. Right now you are just living in hope that the life you were living before will return- I know it is not about the house, or money, You want HIM to take it back, make it better-[b] he is not[/b]- I know why you are holding on to his measly concessions with hope but it is foolish and naive- I was there once, it is easy to hope for the better in people. That is why people on this thread are unanimous- so many of us have been there done that, heard the lies and wanted to believe them. If we could spare you any unnecessary pain we would but you are not making it easy by taking a backseat role- Your DH has been in control the whole time, isn't it time you got some of it back? Bottom line, you haven't begun a reconciliation with you husband after the affair- you are currently condoning it and proving he can do what he wants and you won't leave.

The most important thing someone said to me when I was in the place that you are now- "The hardest thing you have to do, is sometimes the thing you need to do the most." And on so many other occasions in life this I found this to be true, when something seems too hard- often it means your headed in the right direction and when all the struggle is over, you won't regret it-  I promise.

Best of luck OP, like another poster I wish I was your friend IRL- You deserve so much more (I am the poster who asked if you had a friend to confide in!)[/quote]

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