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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - thanks for all the responses.  I am concerned about how much consensus there is about this.

I think I just have to let him try to make things right and hope that he does not contact her and then see where things are at in a month or two.

I agree this could come back to haunt me and ruin my life.  Even if it was not physical, I think the fact that he was really emotionally involved with her is not a good sign at all and she was calling the shots seemingly, etc.

It is just that we have so much to lose as a family.  I do work part time but we would be broke if we separated.  WE would lose our house which we have been fixing up for many years.  I want to stay together as a family.  Plus he is a good guy...although his behavior lately (and really for the last couple of years) towards me has not been great.

I know I will have to reassess in a few months.  We'll see.  [b]I am just trying to figure out how I will ever be able to figure out if he does have contact with her. [/b] Maybe he will start acting anxious and guilty again.  I dont know.[/quote]

You don't have to figure it out, OP.  He is still in contact with her.  That's why he's locked his phone and won't let you see his emails.[/quote]

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