Reply to NYT: professional moms who opted out of work after kids are now opting back in

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Reply to "NYT: professional moms who opted out of work after kids are now opting back in"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think one of the main reasons I didn't stop working is that I worried about this with my husband:

" Many of the women I spoke with were troubled by the gender-role traditionalism that crept into their marriages once they gave up work, transforming them from being their husbands’ intellectual equals into the one member of their partnership uniquely endowed with gifts for laundry or cooking and cleaning; a junior member of the household, who sometimes had to “negotiate” with her husband to get money for child care.

The husbands hadn’t turned into ogres. Their intent was not to make their wives feel lesser. But when traditional gender arrangements were put into place, there was a subtle slide into inequality. “The dynamic changes,” said Hope Adler, a former manager at the professional-services firm..."[/quote]

I've seen this happen with people I know.  In some cases, the woman had a far more extensive or prestigious education/job, but [b]as soon as she becomes a SAHM, the relationship changes.  The husband sees her as a dependent.  It's difficult to view a dependent as an equal.  [/b]

What bothers me is that women of my generation don't anticipate this.  There is this romanticism about being a house wife and mother.  And I'm not saying those are bad things, but [b]it isn't a mystery that issues crop up when one person assumes the role of the domestic and the other as the bread winner, even among the most enlightened and healthy couples[/b].[/quote]

I agree with this completely.  [/quote]

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