Reply to NYT: professional moms who opted out of work after kids are now opting back in

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Reply to "NYT: professional moms who opted out of work after kids are now opting back in"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was glad to be able to stay at home but now I'm facing the professional consequences.

I had a master's degree and many years in the workplace and then left it all to stay at home with DD (now 7). Now it's a struggle to get back in. Fortunately I have a supportive husband who has admitted on several occasions that what I do with DD and at home is much more difficult than his career (in finance). But it still sucks that now I have to choose between having a job for which I'm grossly over qualified and being available to my family OR getting back on the career track and have to put DD in before and aftercare every day.

It's frustrating and I don't know which way I will go. It's a shame that I have to choose (no high powered friends in my circle).[/quote]

Boo hoo.

What did you do to ease reentry into the workplace?[/quote]

Why the sarcasm? Am I not allowed to join this discussion?[/quote]

Not the sarcastic PP -- there is no good reason for the sarcasm.  Some people on DCUM are just like that.  If you say anything's hard, they'll belittle it because it's not as hard as something else, or it's your own fault, or whatever.   You're right, it is hard.  It's all hard.  And the notion that we were supposed to know this at 20 and therefore plan careers that would allow us to be part-time or mostly-home mothers (and know that we would want that) is ludicrous.   At 20, for all I knew, I'd never find someone worth marrying.  The truth is we have a bad economy, falling real wages, and therefore you can't get by on one income anymore, unless it's one really unusual income.  And even then, that will likely mean your kids won't know that parent.  
good luck.[/quote]

I agree with you about the unwarranted meanness of previous PP's reaction, and I can totally sympathize with first PP's situation - but to say that "you can't get by on one income anymore" is losing touch. Of course you can, even as a middle-class family where the one person working makes 140K, which I assume is not what you have in mind when you speak about an "unusual" income. We do it. It's tight since we do live in NW DC with two kids, but it's possible.[/quote]

Perhaps you are out of touch, because for me and most of my friends, with BOTH spouses working, they still don't have an HHI of $140k.  So imagine if your combined income was $100k, and living on one income in DC meant living on $50k for a family of four.  That's what we're talking about.  You are lucky if you have a spouse who pulls in $140k.  [/quote]

No, I'm not out-of-touch, I am perfectly aware that we still have it pretty good. I am, however, pretty certain that the PP I responded to had a much higher income in mind when she was speaking of the "really unusual" income that would allow one parent to stay home (and her response somewhere upthread seemed to confirm that). So that's what WE were talking about. It's all relative. You are right, however, that the issue overall affects people of different socio-economic status in a much more pressing way.[/quote]

But it still is a valid response to your assertion that people can live on one income.  Most middle class families cannot live on one income because most middle class earners don't make enough to support a family of 4.  Add to that the fact that even with two incomes, daycare costs put most middle class families close, if not over, the edge.  This is a problem.  Perhaps not for you individually, but it will be increasingly a problem for the U.S. as a country, as a society.   [/quote]

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