Reply to Partner and I can't agree on a surname after marriage and now I'm wondering if marrying him is even worth it.

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Reply to "Partner and I can't agree on a surname after marriage and now I'm wondering if marrying him is even worth it."

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[quote=Anonymous]This is one of those things that feels huge at the moment but doesn’t matter years later. No one else cares who took whose name or whose name the kids have.

I kept my maiden name 20 years ago when we got married. DH didn’t care. Our kids have his last name. It has never been an issue. It doesn’t make us less cohesive as a family. It doesn’t mean we are on the brink of divorce. I’m not even sure that many people at my current company even realize I’m using my maiden name. It just doesn’t matter. I can’t control what people may think about the fact that I didn’t change my name, nor do I care what others think about my name. We make decisions as a team based on what works best for our family.

As for what’s “normal,” it’s all relative. I’ve found very few women at my kids’ schools, in my professional network, and in our social circles who changed their name. Some of my younger family members in other parts of the country have chosen to change their names. And preferences change over time. Do what works best for your family for the long haul. [/quote]

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