Reply to Out of town in laws attendance at birthdays

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m guessing the issue for the op isn’t the in-laws coming to party. Inviting them means they are spending the night or several nights and she probably doesn’t want to deal with that when she is already dealing with the birthday party. [/quote]

Husband should invite his parents. His parents should understand everything shouldered by their daughter-in-law and understand their son is doing a bare minimum. They should also stay in a hotel. This is what good family dynamics look like.[/quote]

So everyone else gets an official invite and his parents just get the after thought call? Come on. Way to make your guests feel like 2nd class citizens. Were you raised in a barn?[/quote]

The guests are the kids friends. The grandparents, unless they are helping with fetching the cake, ordering and getting the pizza, either lighting the candles or videorecording for the parents, cleaning up, washing the plates, maintaining order, unless they are truly helping, they tag alongs and just another burden.[/quote]

How out of control are your parties? Have it at a venue like normal a normal person. Home parties are the worst.[/quote]

So now MIL wants you to change the venue so you can host her? It’s clear why everyone’s rushing to invite her.[/quote]

We don’t even know where OPs party is but if you need slave labor at your party you throw shit parties. 7 yr olds don’t want to run around your house. The kids want you to change the venue to something fun. [/quote]

No, I think the 7 year old and the mom are perfectly capable of deciding what they want and what’s worth it to them. You seem like an excessive know-it-all, a mean and judgmental one.[/quote]

Declining to invite family because you think they won't serve food at your party or do your dishes is rude and entitled.[/quote]

No insisting on being hosted is rude and entitled. Insisting on a venue change is excessively rude and entitled.[/quote]

Who insisted on a venue change? What are you even talking about? Pointing out that house parties are lame is a fact, not a request.[/quote]

If you find yourself grey-rocked in real life, it is because you are a judgmental and mean know-it-all.

If you want invites, try to understand and appreciate why people like what they like, even house parties. Over time, you may find yourself with invites. Over time maybe even too many.

Including from dysfunctionally judgmental people who can’t appreciate others but want to be appreciated. These people do everything from pick fights to make up rules about rudeness to guilt people in order to try to wrangle an invite.

You’ll find yourself understanding the dysfunction but also understanding why people grey-rock it. And you should grey-rock.[/quote]

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