Reply to Second Shift - sucks for dads too

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The problem is that OP makes it sound so unfair that he has a second shift and how that is somehow under appreciated. Like he is not supposed to have a second shift but society has conspired to give him one. Meanwhile women just expect it.

This is the thing I notice about men who split parenting and housework relatively equally with their wives (who also work) - they consider it some kind of huge notable thing that they are MEN who have to balance work with family obligations. If they see a lot of men dropping off kids at daycare, they think to themselves, "wow, these men are so evolved" without thinking about the absurdity and injustice of the alternative - dumping both drop off and pickup on the wives that ALSO have jobs. It's not "evolved" that there are men at daycare drop off, it means there are two working parents and the men are more likely to do drop off so they can work later.[/quote]

My husband and his friends, all of whom have wives who work, some of whom are the breadwinners, think men who don't do stuff like drop their kids off are lazy and pathetic excuses for husbands and fathers. They don't pat themselves on the back, they feel sorry for the wives with waste of space husbands. [/quote]

Yeah the way people talk about men doing parenting and housework on DCUM is completely foreign to me. I know very few families where dad doesn't do drop off or pickup or both, I know more families where mom doesn't cook dinner than where dad doesn't cook dinner. No one talks about it as a big deal, it's just a thing.[/quote]

I'm so happy for you

My brother has a 1 year old and when we talk he'll sometimes refer dramatically to the days when he is the "primary parent". Can you imagine a woman saying that?[/quote]

What? Women literally do this *all the time*. They’ll even refer to themselves as single mom when they’re doing 50% or less of the parenting…[/quote]

Nope, women do not talk about how they are "the primary parent" because they cared for their own child for 12 hours[/quote]

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