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[quote=Anonymous]These are the kinds of issues that the author of The Millionaire Next Door talks about.  You might send your child to public school but if it's public school in an expensive area, then there are going to be expectations about things like how you socialize, the value of the gift you bring to the birthday party, the kinds of clothes your kids wear, what amount of money the school might ask for for things like PTA, teacher gifts, field trips, etc.

I remember going to a party at a neighbors' house and being surprised that they had had it catered.  Just because you can afford the house in the good school district, you might not be able to afford the accompanying lifestyle.  Or you can, but then you're not going to save a lot of money.

I was raised extremely working class so this has been a struggle for me -- the expectation that my child would have her hair professionally braided and put up for prom, the expensive dress, etc.

And I think if you are not raised wealthy, a lot of this comes as a surprise.  I was surprised that membership in the pool club was not sufficient for my child to be on swim team, but that there was an expectation that they would also take private swimming and diving lessons.

Unfortunately, with the pre-teen, it will only get worse.  You may want to think about whether there is a whole lifestyle that you are not on board with, and whether this is actually the environment that you want to raise your kids in.[/quote]

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